The horror of School field trips
by Kashi-sama
Summary: A school field trip does nothing for your health. Pietro Maximoff knows that all to well... something is amiss in Bayville, but the X-men and the B-hood are on a school trip! ONE SHOT


Disclaimer: Neither I or my buddy own XME. or do we? Summary: I, Sniper67, and my buddy, IDunno, were contemplating the cuteness of the silver haired bad-boy, and decided to not make him betray the `Bhood. nuff said? Also, this is after the whole day off reckoning crap. Wanda still is a crazy loon. no brain washing stuff here! Aiight. here's a good summary. Pietro, the B-hood, the X-men, and all of Bayville high go on a field trip and Tro gets lost! What happens to him? READ TO FIND OUT YOU MORONS! (no you readers. the pplz who just look at the summary and click the back button. Do you know how annoying that is?) Rated: PG-13 Warnings: Severed limbs and excessive use of the word butt, and oh yeah, too much Pietro. AU?: I suppose. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs mentioned, none of the bands, and I don't own XME. Dedicated to: Furor Paxx. I can't spell at all can't I? -=-=-=-=-=-==--=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=--=--=-=-=-=-=-=  
I'm Pietro Maximoff. I'm captain of the track team, star basketball player, awesome singer, lady's man. Well I DID take 4 girls to the dance. anyway, join me on the day of our school field trip. The whole of Bayville high is going. It's to Ohio. An uncharted part of Ohio. Cincinnati I think. Now, join my homeroom class as I sleep on my desk. --------------------------- ------------------------------ ----------------- --------- ---------------------- I've been dreaming about many things, but this one tales the cake. I'm dreaming of cheese a.k.a. American Idol. "Mmmmm Kelly Clarkson" I mutter. " Mr. Maximoff!" the teacher yells, and my head shot up like a speeding bullet.well I am a speeding bullet. " HUH???!!!" I said, my other personality getting the best of me. " No sleeping in class!!!" " Awww but I wanna." (That's Evan Daniels the idiot.-He gets confused easily. The teach- lady [err. whore] was yelling at me so he answers.) " Okay kids bathroom break. Remember. This is a big high school and you could get lost, SO STAY WITH YOUR BUDDY! Now, every one proceed across the hall to the restrooms." the teacher yells. It must be that time of month. ya know the whole mood thing. Mystique always has P.M.S. so that's how I figure.  
  
"Evan, Pietro. Rouge, Lance. You four pair up!" Lance ran off and got with Rouge. He has a crush on pretty much all the X-freaks. The teach makes you hold hands and I'm stuck with Evan. It's gonna be a hell of a field trip.  
  
On the bus I had to sit with THE DREADED WANDA! I'm gonna die. If it ain't a hex, It'll be the word butt."  
  
(10 minits later) "You are the butt!" "Nuh uh!" That's Evan and Wanda. Ohhhhhh. That musta hurt! Wanda hexed Evan! Nice goin` Wand! Now, let's talk about me. Hmmmm. well, I was 8 when I got my powers. well, its kinda funny really. I had to pee really bad, so I was running when whoosh! I suddenly was in the bathroom with a constipated Magneto on the pot. I ran into him and heard a plop so I take the cake for curing his un-pooping spell. (A/N: A guy in my class was constipated in class and had to go home. so thanx for the idea Pat!) He got really pissed and slammed the door so hard he broke my frikin (A/N: how do you spell that?) nose! My beautiful nose! He crushed it and the 'wonderful Wanda' screamed and fainted on the spot. Sensitive girl she was. Now she wants blood. More importantly MY BLOOD! The horror! Daddy can't protect me from her because she wants to kill him too! Oy. Sure takes a lot out of you when you hafta sit next to your homicidal twin sister who uses her mutant power when people cower at the mention of the word 'mutant.' About that. I don't get why you people can be `fraid of me! I, the lady's man, the awesome power over homo-saipiens, the bold and more beautiful than you Pietro. I can run really fast. Sure if I run into you at super speeds it'll kill you, but I wouldn't do that. It would ruin my image. Can't have that happening now can we? "Hey Tro." Lance calls to me over Rouges constant mumbling. "Yeah?" I can barely hear my self over Wanda and Evan's butt war. and hex vs. spike war. Why didn't she call her self HeXQueen? Scarlet Witch. Pushaaa. "Ya havin fun back there?" Lance asks. "I supose. ya havin fun with mumbler over there?" I say, mentioning towards Rouge. She takes off her gloves and reaches for me. I pull back and she hits Wanda full force, ending Evan and Wand's battle. Toad turns around in his seat and starts screaming the national anthem at the top of his lungs. Freddy turns and joins in. Soon the whole bus, including myself, is singing. Evan starts singing the song 'Lucky' by Brittany Spears and gets some well-earned attention. Kitty and Kurt start singing to, and soon Rouge a.k.a. Mumbler joins in. Now all the X-assholes are singing! Mumbler actually sings pretty good. I get pissed and start to sing 'Capricorn' by who the hell knows (A/N: actually the band is 30 seconds to Mars) People start to stare so I poke Wanda. She tries to hex me. Yay! They aren't looking at me anymore! Okay. Wanda is PISSED! I can't save my own ass this time."LAAAAAA-NNNNNCCCCIIIIIIEEEEEE BOOO-OOOOY!"  
  
"WHAT PIETRO" Lance screams, louder than yours truly. That made Wanda stop. Actually, it made everyone stop. at least I get attention! The bus stopped suddenly and I go flying into Freddy, and being so small I fly backward onto a gay guy's lap. and he squeezed my ass! (A/N: his fault for having such a sexy ass.) EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Then I jump over the seat onto a jock's girlfriend. "Hey- eyyyyyy!!" She swooned. I got into the isle when the bus started again so I slip down the floor and right over the yellow line. "HEY KID! YOU CAN'T GO OVER THE LINE!!!!!!!!" The drover screams, stopping again. This time I go the other way. Right into Freddy again. This time he catches me and puts me back into my seat.  
  
ERKKKK! The bus screeches to a halt. This time Wanda has me pinned down so I don't fly away again. "OKAY KIDS! OFF THE BUS. HOLD HANDS WITH YOUR BUDDY! IF YOU DON'T YOU HAVE DETENTION AND YOU WILL BE TIED AND CUFFED TO YOU PARTENER! I LOVE THE BUDDY SYSTEM. If all else fails I can just throw em` off a cliff." As I hop off the bus, I see a big brown furry thing so I do the only logical thing. Scream and run. "A BEARS HERE! It'll kill me!" Then I run, taking the first available girl I see. Amber Morgan. She's a hot sophomore. Like me.  
  
(An Hour Later) "I think were lost."  
  
"Me too" END CHAPTER the 1st  
  
Author's notes, infomings, and pleadings: Its 12:40 right now so its not that good even though 12:40 isn't very late and I was listening to a mix of different kind of music when I wrote this and music makes my mood. (I listen to happy music every morning so I'm happy at school) I was mostly making fun of Pietro's HUMUNGO ego. Don't get me wrong- Pietro is my fave character, but I think its time for me to make fun of him. Aiight. I don't know if I should leave it how it is or make it a multiple chapter fic. I was thinking they should get lost in the forest and get chased by bears or get lost in an office building. This is the part where you come in. Oh yeah the mumbler thing is about my friend Mari. If ya want the full story you can e-mail me or ask in a review. My e- mail address is CrazyKakashi@yahoo.com (Oh no! You might have had to open my bio!) or ya can get me at AIM it's the same as my e-mail address only minus the @yahoo part. Gosh. this is a LOOOONG A/N! One more thing. It didn't squiglify (make it squiggly) the word LAAAAAA-NNNNNCCCCIIIIIIEEEEEE BOOO-OOOOY. Amazing. I better right this down! Oh wait I just did. Ok. Please review. If you don't I'll sent my mom over to sing for you. trust me. She can't sing. Ohhhh! She can sing something by the Halo Friendlys! So, unless you prefer sudden death, I would DEFINETLY review. Anywhoo. BYE- BYE! Ohhhhhh yeah. I don't have anything against gay people. actually I have a gay friend named Mike. (I kid you not.)  
  
Ya can flame me! Now, press the review button. yes that one. No don't put the abuse button. YES! THE ONE THAT SAYS REIVIEW!!!!!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!  
  
Next time: Pietro looses the spotlight and we see part of the chappie in LAAAAAA-NNNNNCCCCIIIIIIEEEEEE BOOO-OOOOY's POV!!! I can't wait! 


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